It Begins

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve written about it repeatedly. However today, the day I’ve anticipated for over eight months finally arrived. Rejoice!


And not a moment too soon, I might add.

No, Charles Barkley didn’t convince me to join Weight Watchers. You’re getting warm, though.

Today I made it to the gym for the first time since October. In my defense the long absence isn’t entirely due to laziness. I’ve had some, um, issues recently. A checklist is definitely in order, as I’ve had issues with at least one of these conditions since last fall:

No broken bones? Check.

No contagious and/or unsightly conditions such as shingles, psoriasis or scabies? Check.

No recent head trauma? Check.

No unexplained, lingering abdominal pain? Check.

No homeopathic remedies advising against strenuous exercise? Check.

No local outbreaks of rubella, bubonic plague, SARS, leprosy, swine flu or Milli Vanilli? Check.


Hey, one can never be too careful.
Image credit: Sipa Press/Rex Features

The gym is easy walking distance from the Command Center. It’s on the far side of a nearby strip mall, just a little past the pet rescue thrift store. Along with the aforementioned issues, knowing the gym is so close has been a thorn in my side for quite some time. No more.

So making an exceptionally rare public appearance in shorts and with water in hand, I headed on in.


I forgot to bring water once. ONCE.

The workout was extremely basic, because basic is all I can handle right now. I don’t ask much of the elliptical. It just has to be in working order, as far away from the Fox News flat screen as possible, and capable of giving me a five-minute workout. Believe me, that’s as long as I can take on those things at the moment. Any longer and I wouldn’t get off the machine as much as I’d fall off. My endurance is OK relatively speaking, but my legs. My legs ….

After taking a few moments to learn to walk again, I stumbled into the 30-minute workout area Planet Fitness thoughtfully developed. This is a good thing, because I don’t want to have to think about working out any more than absolutely necessary. Although I bonked on a couple machines towards the end, I made it through relatively unscathed.

As it turns out I’m not that much worse (or better) than I was when I last did this in October. But oh boy, I’m a long, long way from where I was in high school. I’m not particularly sore at the moment, but I strongly suspect tomorrow will be a different story.

In short, a good day. Let’s see how long this lasts ….


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