About W. Lane Startin

I enjoy Aquaman comics in the original Linear A, 16th Century Danish Dadaist cinema, Tabasco-spiked bologna, and Zoroastrian polka. In my free time I mentor recovering Christian dendrophobes and provide vocational training for chicken sexers.

Ride of the Stationery

This utterly contemptible lethargy continues. Not even a Wagnerian chimpanzee was able to snap me out of it today.

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Yes, you read that right.

But it’s a holiday, Father’s Day. MY holiday, right? Certainly that should snap me out of it.

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Lowered Expectations

By rights I should skip posting today. I’m beyond dead tired. Dry corned beef was the highlight of my day, and I’m still devastatingly sore from a 30-minute workout two days ago. The Muse just isn’t there.

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Lactic acid is the bane of my existence right now.

So yeah, it’s gonna be another one of those short, cheesy posts.

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Friday Crap Roundup XVIII

It’s Friday. I’m still sore and north of 275 pounds. Still, any day I manage to stay out of Jackson’s is a good day.

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Especially recently.

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Bring Out Your Dead

Like many of you, my music collection began on the venerable Compact Cassette format. While I’m somewhat ashamed to say the first tape I bought on my own was *cough* Thriller, the second proved to be a much more dignified choice.

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1984 wasn’t so bad after all.

Although I remember when computers came with cassette tape players, the format doesn’t exactly lend itself to multimedia excellence. I haven’t had a tape player for years, so they’ve just sat there moldering.

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History Wednesday: The Unpronounceable Country

In the minds of many Utah is almost synonymous with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While it’s true the Mormon Church did more to establish and build present-day Utah than any other single entity, it’s also important to keep in mind they were never the only game in town.

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Just by far the largest.

Yes, even the relatively homogenous history of Utah isn’t without its bumps.

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In Search of Sexual Perestroika

A few days ago I wrote of my disdain for dating sites. In the short time since that post has already become the second most-viewed in the history of SB, second only to my expos̩ of gr8tits2play. That in turn implies my readership is Рif nothing else Рsexually frustrated.

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“But if you do, make sure your tetanus shots are up to date!”
Image credit: Frank Serritelli

The thing is, these days I’m not sexually frustrated in the slightest. I’m just bored.

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It Begins

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve written about it repeatedly. However today, the day I’ve anticipated for over eight months finally arrived. Rejoice!

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And not a moment too soon, I might add.

No, Charles Barkley didn’t convince me to join Weight Watchers. You’re getting warm, though.

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The Lamest Post Yet

Ack. Maybe I really should think about taking Sundays off. This afternoon over at YouTube I managed to take another much-needed swipe at “Here We Have Idaho,” but that’s all I had in the tank for today. Yes, I used Windows Movie Maker not 24 hours after dissing it in this space.

Told you it was lame.

If I ever needed an energy dome, it’s today. Hell, this post is so short I’m not even gonna bother with a jump.

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Whipped good.
Image credit: DarKrow

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Stupidity in Multimedia

My daughter went back to the 2T earlier today. Now I have time to catch up on my own projects. Projects such as buy laundry soap. Buy dish soap. Buy disinfectant. Buy batteries. Buy cat litter. Buy horse tranquilizers pale ale. And do it all at once.

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I tend to let things go.
Image credit: Dean Johnson

It also means I have time to go back inside my head. That’s a scary, surreal place indeed.

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Friday Crap Roundup XVII

Wow, there’s not much to go on for today’s FCR. Although most of my week has been monopolized by an eight-year-old, my Facebook feed usually provides more than enough weirdness for me. Not this week. It’s almost as if everyone was as lethargic as my daughter and I were out at Camel’s Back Park this afternoon. Idahoans generally don’t do well in hot, humid conditions.

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This ain’t exactly Cherrapunji, you know.
Image credit: Greg Harness

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