Ride of the Stationery

This utterly contemptible lethargy continues. Not even a Wagnerian chimpanzee was able to snap me out of it today.

EXIF_JPEG_T422

Yes, you read that right.

But it’s a holiday, Father’s Day. MY holiday, right? Certainly that should snap me out of it.

Continue reading

Friday Crap Roundup XVIII

It’s Friday. I’m still sore and north of 275 pounds. Still, any day I manage to stay out of Jackson’s is a good day.

EXIF_JPEG_T422

Especially recently.

Continue reading

Bring Out Your Dead

Like many of you, my music collection began on the venerable Compact Cassette format. While I’m somewhat ashamed to say the first tape I bought on my own was *cough* Thriller, the second proved to be a much more dignified choice.

EXIF_JPEG_T422

1984 wasn’t so bad after all.

Although I remember when computers came with cassette tape players, the format doesn’t exactly lend itself to multimedia excellence. I haven’t had a tape player for years, so they’ve just sat there moldering.

Continue reading

It Begins

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve written about it repeatedly. However today, the day I’ve anticipated for over eight months finally arrived. Rejoice!

EXIF_JPEG_T422

And not a moment too soon, I might add.

No, Charles Barkley didn’t convince me to join Weight Watchers. You’re getting warm, though.

Continue reading

Friday Crap Roundup XVII

Wow, there’s not much to go on for today’s FCR. Although most of my week has been monopolized by an eight-year-old, my Facebook feed usually provides more than enough weirdness for me. Not this week. It’s almost as if everyone was as lethargic as my daughter and I were out at Camel’s Back Park this afternoon. Idahoans generally don’t do well in hot, humid conditions.

owyheedesert

This ain’t exactly Cherrapunji, you know.
Image credit: Greg Harness

Continue reading

Eschewing Mornings

I have been in pure, unadulterated pain all day long. It was self-inflicted no less. No, it’s nothing morbid; as a matter of fact I’m in pretty good spirits overall.

Smiling-Bob-with-coffee

Not to mention largely pharmaceutical and supplement free.
Image credit: Forbes

It’s because of something I did. Was it running? Was it going to the gym? Nah. Well, not yet. I’m still in the 2T. It’s because of something I did today I haven’t done in a very, very long time.

I woke up at 6:30 am. On purpose.

Continue reading

Fighting the Bogeyman, With Science!

Before I continue, a programming note. Effective immediately the sobriquet of “Beachy” as it refers to my daughter is retired on SB. She’s never been a big fan of it, and earlier today requested its immediate and permanent discontinuance. We’re talking in the strongest possible terms here. I’m left with no alternative but to honor her request.

beachclosed

It remains to be seen how I handle this from here. Stay tuned.
Image credit: Wolfram Burner

Right, now on with today’s narrative.

As is the case with most eight-year-olds, bedtime can be an ongoing battle. In the case of my daughter, this is especially true when she’s with me, as well as especially true on the eve of a major event such as the last day of school. That’s tonight’s double whammy.

Continue reading

Friday Crap Roundup XVI

It’s the last day of the month. Kids all over the country are graduating high school. All the best to everyone. My high school graduation was 22 years ago yesterday.

graduation91

Oh my, we wore some strange colors back then.

By the way, my sister (also pictured above) will receive her M.Ed. from Lewis & Clark College this weekend. Much respect there too.

Continue reading

Gaming for Luddites

I was born in the United States in 1973. If you were too, you either (1) heard of the Atari 2600 or, (2) grew up under a rock. Note I said “heard of” instead of “owned.”

800px-Intellivision-Console-Set

While most definitely familiar with the Atari, I owned one of these bad boys.
Image credit: Evan-Amos

I often get nostalgic for the 8-bit halcyon days of the 80s. Be it the romance of the video arcade before it descended into Chuck E. Cheese corporate banality, or the simple Zen of playing BurgerTime on Intellivision, if there’s one thing I miss about childhood, that’s it. The adept video game historians among you know Intellivision was technically superior to the Atari 2600, so you might assume I’ve ridden the crest of technology ever since.

Well, you’d be mistaken.

Continue reading

At the Risk of Trying Too Hard

This is supposed to be a funny blog. It’s also supposed to be a blog about what’s on my mind at the moment. Most of the time I can reconcile the two fairly easily. Not today.

For me, Memorial Day is a source of depression going back decades. This has nothing to do with military service, and I certainly don’t mean to belittle the holiday’s meaning by dwelling on myself. Still, personal history weighs heavy on my mind.

bobrossjesusfail

And as with any other artistic endeavor, trying too hard at humor often leads to disaster.
Image credit: ponyboy-draws

Continue reading