Daddy Until Death

My daughter is truly a force of nature. Earlier today I went in for a much-needed eye exam at the local Costco. She spent the balance of the appointment grilling the optometrist and choosing out new glasses for me. I must admit she did a good job with the latter. They look good, and at $39 they were among the least expensive in stock.

Afterwards she proceeded to get a temporary tattoo in the image of “Costco Sally,” who looked like a cross between Raggedy Ann and the Cat in the Hat.

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We didn’t get it either.
Image credit: ~Nightshadow-Horus

As soon as it dries she proceeds to scratch the tattoo off. “Why get it if you were going to do that?” I asked.

“Destruction makes me feel better,” she replies, also noting she forgot she was allergic to temporary tattoos.

This was all BEFORE lunch, mind you.

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History Wednesday: Frequency Manipulation

Today I took my daughter swimming at the condo association pool next to the Command Center. Being an exceptionally nice day in Boise, some of the neighborhood kids were already there. One of them had her iPhone or whatever plugged into a speaker, playing her list of jammin’ MP3s. This experience proved to be exactly as excruciating as it sounds.

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You’d better “Beliebe” it.

Replace Justin Bieber with, say, Wham! and the iPhone with that noted paragon of past 2T culture, Z-103, and you’d have a scene very reminiscent of the Putt n’ Plunge during the mid-80s. Of course, my mind working the way it does I thought to myself, “Hey, it could have been Z-43.”

No, I’m not making an obscure Ed Wood reference here.

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Eschewing Mornings

I have been in pure, unadulterated pain all day long. It was self-inflicted no less. No, it’s nothing morbid; as a matter of fact I’m in pretty good spirits overall.

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Not to mention largely pharmaceutical and supplement free.
Image credit: Forbes

It’s because of something I did. Was it running? Was it going to the gym? Nah. Well, not yet. I’m still in the 2T. It’s because of something I did today I haven’t done in a very, very long time.

I woke up at 6:30 am. On purpose.

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Fighting the Bogeyman, With Science!

Before I continue, a programming note. Effective immediately the sobriquet of “Beachy” as it refers to my daughter is retired on SB. She’s never been a big fan of it, and earlier today requested its immediate and permanent discontinuance. We’re talking in the strongest possible terms here. I’m left with no alternative but to honor her request.

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It remains to be seen how I handle this from here. Stay tuned.
Image credit: Wolfram Burner

Right, now on with today’s narrative.

As is the case with most eight-year-olds, bedtime can be an ongoing battle. In the case of my daughter, this is especially true when she’s with me, as well as especially true on the eve of a major event such as the last day of school. That’s tonight’s double whammy.

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Dating as Performance Art

This month marks my four-year divorce anniversary. Although I’ve dated from time to time in the interim, for the most part since then I’ve been a single man. I can’t imagine why.

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Being such a catch and all.

For most of that time I’ve maintained profiles on several dating sites, notably OkCupid and POF. I’m not entirely sure why, though. The results have been, shall we say, less than impressive.

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Tales From Parental Purgatory

I’m back in the 2T this weekend. For a variety of reasons I’m staying longer than normal this time. Among other things, Beachy is days away from closing the book on second grade for good.

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The 2T traditionally being the last place in the Western Hemisphere to finish its school year.
Image credit: KEZJ.com

That’s the exciting part. The decidedly unexciting part is thankfully behind me.

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Friday Crap Roundup XVI

It’s the last day of the month. Kids all over the country are graduating high school. All the best to everyone. My high school graduation was 22 years ago yesterday.

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Oh my, we wore some strange colors back then.

By the way, my sister (also pictured above) will receive her M.Ed. from Lewis & Clark College this weekend. Much respect there too.

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Rewards Are Relative

For several months Beachy and others have been after me to get my computer set up for Skype video calls. While I certainly have the know-how to make this happen, I haven’t had the right equipment. Specifically, I didn’t have a webcam. Yes, I know they’re inexpensive and easy to find. I just hadn’t got around to doing it.

Well, today I have one, sort of.

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No more sprockets for me!
Image credit: Frank Gosebruch

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History Wednesday: A Lesson in Water Safety

I was going to write about Paraguay again, but it occurred to me earlier today I should bring as much geographic balance to History Wednesday as possible. Since I began SB at least one History Wednesday has been set on every continent. Except one, and I have regular visitors from it.

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Well, two if you count penguins, but they don’t have broadband.

So it’s high time to take a look at Australia and an event which has a cautionary tale about water safety. Perfect now that summer is upon us. Or winter, as the case may be. Anyway, the Paraguay story is good, but it can wait.

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Gaming for Luddites

I was born in the United States in 1973. If you were too, you either (1) heard of the Atari 2600 or, (2) grew up under a rock. Note I said “heard of” instead of “owned.”

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While most definitely familiar with the Atari, I owned one of these bad boys.
Image credit: Evan-Amos

I often get nostalgic for the 8-bit halcyon days of the 80s. Be it the romance of the video arcade before it descended into Chuck E. Cheese corporate banality, or the simple Zen of playing BurgerTime on Intellivision, if there’s one thing I miss about childhood, that’s it. The adept video game historians among you know Intellivision was technically superior to the Atari 2600, so you might assume I’ve ridden the crest of technology ever since.

Well, you’d be mistaken.

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