Ishtar: Another Bad Review

It’s an auspicious occasion here at Superfluous Bloviations. Not only is this the last post of March, it’s the 50th post overall. Rejoice!

Oh yeah, and it’s Easter too, one of my least favorite holidays. A day of forced church attendance, pastel-colored candy and that damn plastic Easter grass which gets everywhere.

600px-Bg-easter-eggs

I don’t even like hard-boiled eggs, dammit.
Image source: Ikonact

As if the self-inflicted, sugar-based tummy ache caused by eating too many cheap jellybeans wasn’t bad enough, I always took exception to being hauled off to church for Easter. This was exacerbated by the fact my family have never been regular church-goers to begin with, at least not in my lifetime. I’m not religious. Never have been.

Besides, Easter may or may not derive from earlier celebrations of the Babylonian goddess Ishtar, which would moot the point entirely as far as I’m concerned.

Dustin_Hoffman_cropped

Either way, Dustin Hoffman is blameless.
Image credit: Alan Light

Oh well. I’ll get by. Happy Easter for those of you who feel differently. Here’s an old video of Beachy singing “Here Comes Peter Cottontail.”

She was metal even then.

Advertisements

At One With Nature, Sort Of

Today Beachy is with me. Nothing like trying to keep an eight-year-old busy for an entire weekend without going bankrupt. The fact she lives in the 2T and Boise has so much more to do exacerbates the issue.

Psy_performing_Gangnam_Style_at_the_Future_Music_Festival_2013

She also has a pretty hardcore YouTube habit, thus the late post today.

Fortunately the last few days have been relatively nice outside. That opened up my options a bit. It was a pleasant enough day to go to the zoo, a relatively cheap and time-consuming activity. Frankly I’ve had my fill of child-friendly indoor diversions such as Pojo’s for the time being. Beachy considers herself an expert on those claw crane games, exploiting every opportunity to practice her craft. I still have a big bowl of hard candy she won something like six months ago. The Pyramid Brothers like to play with said candies. Here at the Command Center, finding a pack of Smarties behind the toilet at two in the morning is a rather common occurrence.

Beachy insisted we use sunscreen before going out. This struck me as a bit bizarre as it was 59 and partly cloudy in Boise today, hardly sunburn weather. I went ahead and got some. We’re going to need it when the Command Center’s HOA opens the pool.

More often than not, my experience is a visit to the zoo is little more than a two-hour walk past a series of empty artificial habitats, the alleged animals always sleeping in the back or whatever. Today was more successful than that. The animals were out more than usual, although most were fast asleep. A good thing for second graders, not so much for fans of blog snark. Sorry ’bout that.

There’s a carousel at the zoo, and Dippin’ Dots. Oh yes. No trip to Zoo Boise is complete without those damn Dippin’ Dots.

637px-Dippin'_Dots_Rainbow_Flavored_Ice

Truth be told, a pretty good use for liquid nitrogen.

We proceeded with the obligatory carousel ride. As Beachy is finally over the height requirement, I observed from the sidelines. There are distinct advantages to having a older, taller kid at the zoo. No stroller required, and they don’t ask to be lifted up as much.

While Beachy was on the carousel I got strafed by a Canada Goose. Trust me, you don’t need to pay $11.25 to get up close to these things in Boise. They’re everywhere. My craptacular camera phone wasn’t able to get a decent shot of the perpetrator, so here’s a boring-ass Wikipedia image instead.

Canada_goose

You should see what they do to the Idaho State Capitol.

The highlight of the zoo is undoubtedly the African Plains Exhibit, set in a meticulously and accurately re-created Maasai village. Yup, it’s straight outta Tanzania, baby.

EXIF_JPEG_T422

Totally.

Anyway, the lions are always a hit and there are always plenty of monkeys about. The giraffes appeared to be hidden for some time. How the hell do you hide a giraffe? We finally found them before we got out of there, with the Dippin’ Dots of course.

EXIF_JPEG_T422

Did I mention how authentic this place is?

We were done with the zoo. My ankle was done, period. Headed to the car I was strafed again, this time by a seagull. You don’t need to pay to see those here either, especially this time of year. Thanks to my phone … aw, screw it.

794px-California_Gull_(Larus_californicus_RWD2

Here’s the boring-ass Wikipedia image. *sigh*

A Heartfelt Valentine’s Day Message

Superfluous Bloviations would be remiss not to recognize a holiday specifically designed to sell greeting cards, candy, flowers and mace. Although named after an obscure 3rd Century CE saint who may or may not have been as many as three people according to the Roman Catholic Church, like many annoying things Valentine’s Day can be blamed on Geoffrey Chaucer.

chaucer

Min be the tale, and thin be the travaille.

So break out the mystery chocolates, chalky candy hearts, old-timey Chicago gangsters and guilt trips. Just keep in mind I have a tree nut allergy.

stvdmassacre

“I said NO NUTS, dammit!”
(Photo credit: David Erickson)

Endure the day with as much grace as possible. By the way, cops don’t carry tommy guns.